Goblins and Grammar
by Labyrinth Runner
Summary: Labyrinth Runner decides to teach Boggy how to speak English.


Hello everyone! I decided it was time to teach Boggy how to speak so that he could properly ask people to review the story at the end of the chapters, but it didn't go as well as I planned. Who knew that teaching goblins English could be so hard?

Well. It started with me talking to the King.

* * *

Jareth was sitting in the throne room lounging around while hitting his riding crop on his foot when a determined author ran burst through his doors.

"Jareth. We need to talk," I declared.

"Well, well, well. Labyrinth Runner, what are you doing here? I thought you were so busy writing Sarah's extensive story line that you hadn't the time to visit us down here in the Underground," Jareth replied.

"Well, this visit has nothing to do with the story. I want to teach Boggy how to speak English properly," I suggested.

"Ah. And why do you care if one of my subjects learns English?" he inquired.

"Boggy is my favorite goblin and I keep asking him to beg for reviews, but instead he begs for 'REBIEWS' so can you see my dilemma?"

"Yes. Fine. BUT. You'll do it with Christian," he responded.

"WHY?" I whined.

"Because I know you two enjoy bickering with each other and I wish to be amused," he said.

"ISN'T TEACHING A GOBLIN ENGLISH AMUSING ENOUGH?" I argued.

"Yes. But, please tell me, why do you hate Christian? I mean he is one of your own characters," the King mused.

"I know, but his personality just grates on me. But, if that's the only way for me to teach Boggy English then fine. I'll do it," I gave in.

"Awesome, so when do we start?" Christian asked as he walked into the room.

"Now. Come on," I left the throne room and found Boggy sitting on a window seat.

"Come on, Boggy, let's go back to my house to learn how to say review," I said as I grabbed his hand and we poofed into my living room.

* * *

"First of all, you're getting a bath. My mom won't want you going anywhere near the white carpet being as dirty you are," I said. I picked the goblin up and plopped him in a bath tub with some bubble bath.

"OOOOH POPPYS!" Boggy exclaimed.

"No, Boggy, these are bubbles. B-u-b-b-l-e-s. Bubbles. Can you say Bubbles?" I asked.

"Duddles."

"Nope. One more time. Bubbles."

"Bubbles."

"Good job!"

"YAY BOGGY DO GOOD!" I sighed and let Boggy finish his bath.I walked upstairs to find Christian leafing through my bookshelves.

* * *

"Do all girls have such diverse reading material?" he asked.

"No, but now's not the time to discuss my book collection. We've got to to figure out what to teach Boggy," I told him.

"How about we start with the alphabet and then teach him how to say 'please review,'" Christian suggested.

"That's the best idea you've had all week," I joked.

"I've only been in the story for two days," he said sardonically.

"Yes well, I've been trying to figure out a way to write you for a week so meh," I said as I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Let's get Boggy," he suggested.

* * *

"LDOFJPH," Boggy recited.

"Boggy, that's not quite how it goes," I commented.

"Dear goblin, that was not even close," Christian said in frustration, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ HOW HARD IS THAT?"

Boggy started to cry.

"Christian, don't be so mean to him. He's only learning," I chastised.

"We've been here for three hours working on the same 26 letters!"

"Yes, and if you give him one more chance, I'm sure he'll get it right!," I defended, "Come on, Boggy! You can do it!"

"ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ," Boggy tried.

"YES! That's it! Now. Repeat after me. Please ReView," I tried.

"P-please. ReView," he repeated.

"YES! Okay, Boggy. That's enough English for today. I'm going to send you home now," I said while hugging Boggy.

"Bye, Labyrinth Runner!" Boggy said with a wave as he disappeared.

"Well, that was tiring," Christian said as he flopped on my couch.

"You really are like Jareth. If I didn't already have a story line for his immediate family, I would've made you brothers,"I observed.

"Yes, well, we are as close as brothers, being best friends and all," he said and patted the couch next to him.

"Want to watch a movie?" I asked.

"I thought you'd be asking me to go home by now because my personality would be grating on you," he joked.

"You're not that bad," I said while popping Peter Pan into the DVD player. The beginning titles began playing and I rested my head on Christian's shoulder. Maybe my character wasn't so bad after all.


End file.
